When I began researching the effect that complaining has on our minds and bodies, I was surprised to find that it's actually a pretty controversial topic that has a lot of buzz around it.
I guess this shouldn't come as a surprise considering how much humans actually do complain. In fact, research suggests that we're complaining once a minute during an average conversation. WHAAAAT? I'm going to take a wild guess and say that no one reading this wants to admit to complaining that often, I definitely don't!
I decided I would start paying attention to the number of times a day I was complaining and why. I quickly realized that more than anything I was using a complaint to begin a conversation! How many of us can say that we've recently started a conversation by complaining about the weather!? I'm telling you it was a major eye-opener. Complaining is such a negative way to connect with our fellow humans and even though it can feel good in the moment, the long-term effect is going to have the opposite result.
Complaining instantly puts you in a victim position, which in turn makes you feel like you're not in control. Allowing yourself to feel victimized takes away all your power, but it can also feel good because it takes the responsibility off of you. Complaining and settling into the role of the victim is a really cheap way of dealing with any problem, from weather to work obstacles. Relying on this as a way to cope will result in spinning your wheels and never making real progress. So what's the solution to saving ourselves from the hamster wheel of complaining, identifying as a victim, losing power, and then back to complaining?
The first step to reducing your complaint count is becoming more aware of yourself and the way you make conversation. The second step is to begin retraining your mind from complaint-driven to solution oriented. Some complaints are truly valid and require attention. Instead of spreading negativity and sitting idle while complaining, start searching for the solution. When you consider your complaint as an opportunity to improve the way you feel, you stay in power and can quickly and efficiently tackle the issue and feel better for all the right reasons. You'll no longer be the person who connects through negativity but someone who attracts people and energy because of your solution-oriented, empowered mindset. This is great news! I don't know about you guys but I'm feeling better already ;) So go forth and solve my friends!